am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize