you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
