If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
