So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
