i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
