Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
