I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
