So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize