Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
