Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
