some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
