It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
