all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
