It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
