God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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