i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
