East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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