Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
