4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
