FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
