whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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