im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
