____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
