I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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