plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
