We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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