I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
