Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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