Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's always time for handjobs
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
