she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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