I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
