it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
