Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
