there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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