My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
