You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
