yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
