Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize