i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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