yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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