Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
