the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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