After last night, I could never be a politician.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
