the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
