I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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