Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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