Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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