I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize