Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
