whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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