He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
