The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
