Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
