There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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