your parents love me but you hate me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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