You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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