I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
