The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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