Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
