can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
