is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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