Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
