Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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