Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
