Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
