My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
