I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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